Self Love Challenge

Hola! Can you believe it? I surely can't, but I am back!! How much I've missed this.

My oldest daughter has started a 30-day Self Love Challenge. Each day we're given a new "assignment" if you will to help us grow and awaken to being not only comfortable in our own skin, but to love the skin we're in. So this event inspired me to return to my blog. Of course it started last week, so I'm catching up. No surprise there...but who cares, right?

Day 1 we focused on journaling what we are greatful for. Which emphasized physical and mental preparation. Setting the ambiance with candles, incense, maybe soft music, whatever gives you a relaxing space to meditate on what you are thankful for. What was I thankful for? Hmmm I will grab my journal page now.

1. Ryu's purring. He's a quiet kitty most of the time, not as vocal as my past kitties. Lately he will meow to get our attention in the evening! Most important, he climbs into bed with us at night, lays down next to my husband (his favorite person) and purrs loudly. How much I've missed that sound. Thank you kitty!

2. A coworker informed me that a customer I adore and miss due to illness that has kept them home for at least a year, came in when I wasn't working to mail a package. So the joy of knowing she's up and out and feeling well enough to do what she loves again just makes my heart soar!

3. On Fat Tuesday a local BBQ restaurant featured a Pork Paczki sammich!!! AAAHHHH my brain exploded!!! It was Scrum-deli-umptious!! Oh the drool.

4. OK so a package started leaking at work and we had to open it and clean up the floor etc. It was a gallon jug of molasses and it got all over my hands. I kinda liked it more than I should have. The smell was intoxicating (I love molasses cookies) and I always found messiness fun. :-)

5. My daughters both stopped by to pick up their Valentine's day gifts for both of them and all 3 of my amazing grandchildren. I love seeing their faces, talking to them, and giving them stuff!!!

6. How cute I was all day. I love me. I think I'm down right cute!

7. BIG ONE COMING: My husband went to see a musical with me! I gave him the option of leaving at intermission if he felt as if he was going to gouge his eyes out and cut off his ears. To my surprise, he was enjoying himself. Of course I am sure that part of the reason he could tolerate this performance, is due to the fact that it featured the music of Gloria Estefan and told her life story in a jukebox kind of way. Either way I was able to stay and sing and dance and clap through the entire performance and it was one of my favorite nights ever!

8. Finally...My horde of pillows and "Linus" blanket. The pillows provide all of the support and adjustments a hypermobile body needs to stave off dislocations during sleep. The blanket is just a comforting item that helps me fall asleep.

Phew! It's so good to see so many wonderful experiences in just one day. Writing them out gives me a place to look to for reference during tough times. Managing constant pain and fatigue gets tricky. Thank goodness for not only this challenge that by the way uses the hashtag #drunkmirandasselflovechallenge that I'm sure you could find some fun posts on Facebook, Instagram, and maybe even Twitter, I haven't checked. This challenge is a daily if not an all day reminder of how important it is and how good it feels to treat yourself with kindness and adoration.

I hope all are well and if you have the opportunity, find a group, a book, an article, a friend heck any avenue there is to help put you on the path of self love. Even if you feel that you are doing the work of self love, check yourself, take inventory and make sure you are. Accountability!!

Many blessings
Anna

Coffee appreciation

Last night I slept over my daughter's house while she was at work, with her daughters. A task I don't mind, but rarely get to do due to my work schedule. Usually their father is their.

In the morning she had an important appointment to keep. So I got the oldest ready for school (she's 5) and made her cinnamon pancakes per her request while the baby was luckily still asleep.

As we were finishing up the morning routine now with her little sister joining in, my daughter called to let me know she was already finished and on her way back home. She had stopped at a Biggby and needed to know what I would like. I told her my coffee needs, and went back to making sure my granddaughter was dressed.

When my daughter arrived, she only had 1 cup in her hand. I immediately assumed she left one on the table or in her vehicle. When I asked her where the rest was, she informed me that she only bought my coffee as a thank you because I do so much for her.

I held back tears. It really touched my heart that she thought of me and wanted to show her gratitude. To me, it's just what family do. We do for each other because sometimes family is all we got.
My daughters are my best friends and I can't think of no better way to stress out, rush around, or worry than for them and the grandchildren. It's a joy.

I gladly accept the challenge.

Goodnight y'all
Anna 😴

Managing hypermobility

Today I had my follow up visit with my new rheumatologist. Just covering the blood work and x-rays. I feel at ease again by just seeing her Physician's Assistant  who was my favorite at my old rheumatologist.

They have a different approach that pushes physical therapy & joint injections over chronic pain care with meds. I think I can manage this though she did suggest I get my primary doctor to prescribe my pain meds even though I'm definitely bringing down the dosage. Also pushing water therapy for my lower back.
We shall see!

Hypermobile adventures!

Gonna wash that gray right outta...?

Two weeks ago, I purchased a box of hair dye with the idea of sprucing up my do for the spring. I am proud to say that for two years now, I have not used chemical dyes or relaxers at all. It took some getting use to, but now I'm proud of my natural hair. ☺ But the color is quite bland and I'm ready for a little oomph. So I stopped at my local Walgreen's, picked out a basic pretty brown and planned to slap that sucker in before the weekend was over.

Two weeks later...

It still sits on my kitchen shelf. The box has fallen sadly to it's side, forgotten.

This morning as I brushed my hair back and applied one of my favorite headbands, I asked myself "why? And be honest!" Here's what I revealed to myself.

I want to dye my hair, but I will be truly sad to cover up my gray hair. I started getting them when I was 35 and I've always been proud of them and always seeking them out. It took a lot of work then, now it's a little easier. I shoe them to people still who look at me silly saying they barely see it. I think they're just being nice, because they don't realize I'm proud of them. They are, to me, a well earned crown of wisdom, growth and womanhood. I feel proud when I catch a glance of silver.

Now that I'm aware of how I'm feeling, I'm ready to dye my hair knowing that not only will they be there when it grows out but probably a few more! ��

Before and after pictures to come.

Many blessings
Anna ��

Right now I'm....

It's Tuesday January 21st 2014.

It has been a long time.

I'm still a mom of 2 amazing women.

I'm still a grandmother to a remarkable little girl.

I'm still crazy in love happily married to my childhood sweetheart.

I'm still quite Pagan ... maybe a little more Agnostic than before, but Pagan none the less.

I've lost a friend and her son in a tragic and horrific double homicide and suicide.

Reading the Divergent series but just finished Frozen by Melissa De La Cruz and Michael Johnston and it was goooddd... it's the first of a series they just started so now I must wait. But while I wait I will continue with Divergent.

Wishing I could sit and crochet like I use to, my hands aren't as capable as they use to be.

My Hypermobility is kicking my arse in so many ways. I'm trying different things on top of the meds I'm on. Including, Physical Therapy, Walk-Fit exercise DVDs and dieting to lose excess weight. I think it's making a difference. I'm a grandma who wants very much to be able to play and chase after my grandchildren for many many years to come. I'm 41 years old and my doctor says my joints are of a 60 year old. :-(

Currently I am reguarly writing letters to 2 people in jail. One a close friend and the other a close family member. It's becoming more and more my norm, but still odd. It always seemed that would be what other people do. It's important to me to be a good friend to both in writing and keeping communication open so that they feel they have connections outside. It's so easy to go on about your day to day and forget they aren't able to do that.

Life continues and I try to just relax, enjoy, learn and grow with as little drama and stress as possible. I truly feel I've pretty much mastered this and though I again need to get my meditation schedule back on a daily occurence, I'm very happy.

I miss blogging
sharing my life with pretty much just me and a friend or two
but it feels good to let it out
to share
and maybe, once in a while get some input.

enjoy your day
Anna

Letting it out - Sisterhood lacking

Currently enjoying 2 weeks (except for one day) off from work. In the middle of a heatwave and pretty much staying inside. I find myself in deep reflection, meditation and that has resulted in joy and awakening. I'm pretty sure that the friendships I tout as being all important and close are a different species than I convinced myself and others they are. I no longer feel as close to most of my friends if i did at all, I'm not 100% sure. That being said, I can say my relationship with my husband has grown immensely and I feel even more in love with him now as if we were still those awkward teens enamored of each other many years ago.

I do plan to work on figuring out which friendships are indeed natural bonds, honest and true. No longer are the days that the only time I have contact with people is when I instigate it. I always knew that was a sign of the true nature of my relationships with others, but I wasn't willing to face it. But now as part of my growth I must. For one thing I've changed and grown so much even my spiritual belief system has taken a new path and I find myself yearning for others who are not the same as I but at least tolerant, understanding and willing to be open to genuine connection. :-) This post may get me in trouble so I must make it clear that I'm not saying here that I don't like or care for my current friends. I'm just not sure where those friendships really lie. A couple folks I do have a clear understanding of what our friendship is and I enjoy what we share, but sometimes I just want more. I'm still as posted in past blogs am interested in that close girlfriend relationship. One that is close and not because the only conversations are of drama, strife and pain. It's important yes to be their for friends and I pride myself on that but I can't say I feel that I can feel as vulnerable with others. Hell I sometimes struggle with that with my husband, but I do eventually find total comfort in sharing with him. He's a great listener and always willing to help and support me. But the sisterhood in my opinion is so important and still lacking.

Hoping through meditation and self reflection to be able to make myself open and available to sister-friendship :-)

Light and love
thanks for letting me get it out
me :-)

Tiring full moon

Hello!

The fuzzy full moon photo was taken 5am this morning on my cell phone as I headed to work. I really need to purchase a decent camera with a lens attachment for the moon pics. But for now I'm happy to honor the moon as best I can. I'm so drawn to it, I simply must snap shots.

What followed was a very busy work day that completely wore me out. All I wanted to do was go home afterwards and nap or laze about. That didn't happen. Hubby, granddaughter and I took a 1 mile trail walk and stopped at a couple stores. Wore all of us completely out.

Today I learned how our society puts human value based on what you own and look like. The idea that it's completely acceptable to go into debt with loans/credit to own the recent car, t.v., shoes ... for others to see us in is pretty scary to me. I only allow debt in several cases: our mortgage, student loans and medical bills above our insurance. I desperately need an improved car, but the prospect of possibly needing financing and picking up a monthly bill is causing me considerable concern and worry. I'm hoping to find a used car I can buy out right cash, or pay off in less than 6 months. Fingers crossed.

Well that's about all my fingers can take posting from my phone. Now off to bed with my tummy full of sausage pizza and peach soda.

Goodnight, sweet dreams and blessed full moon.

Love and light
Me :-)