Monday, January 30, 2012

reading reading reading and taking notes

Currently reading Hearts and Hands which is required reading/studying in my midwifery program. I'm knee deep right now in learning about lab work, technical terms and what to look out for as well as exercise and nutrition. It's not as exciting as the last chapter on baby positions and measuring, but I'm excited to return to the world of "schooling"

Following a zillion sites on face book, stumbling and pinteresting birth as well as twitter and blogs. I'm starting to live and breathe birth, and it's WONDERFUL! I can't wait to be able to get active in the birth community helping women have the birth experience THEY want :-) 

Trying to decide if gardening is in my future for this year. with work and school I'm thinking either join a local CSA, or rely on local farms and farming markets. In the spring/summer it's so easy to fully count on them for all of our nutritional needs, but it becomes more difficult in the winter. Should take on learning how to can and store up for the winter months. That sounds tiring and confusing...already starting to talk myself out of it, lol.

Made my hubby watch Breaking Dawn part 1 like all other Twilight movies he pretended to like it to get on my good side :-) I don't mind playing up on that, he doesn't hurt my feelings. I'm just glad he sat through it, I sit through a lot of his choices and I almost feel bad when I catch myself nodding off and even a little worse when he catches me. But it's that lovely marriage give and take dance the 2 of us do so well. I am so blessed with such a wonderful partner. Now to trick him into having dinner ready when I work late, any suggestions? Hell I wouldn't mind if he bought it and presented it on paper plates!

ok I've babbled long enough
I hope all are well

we are working through the anniversary of the tragic accident and death of 3 wonderful young people including my nephew (not by blood but his mom and I are that close we consider ourselves sisters). Last night I could not sleep and stayed up in bed playing on my phone on facebook and twitter. His mom saw me and we just talked and talked. Last night (early am) was the anniversary of the actual accident when she called me on her way to the hospital and told me to get there she needed me. :-( I miss him so much.

peace and love
me <3

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thursday thoughts

Good Thursday morning :) last night I went to bed about 2:30am knowing I would be able to "sleep in" til 7am. With my joints being so loose all over, when lying down they slip out of place. So the longer I lay there, the more painful my morning is though taking my meds before & strategic pillow placement does help.

Working a traditional "9 to 5 (actually about 5:30 or 6)" at the post office & I'm not looking forward to it, I'm sure to lose steam as the day goes purely out of pain & boredom. I can't wait to devote more of my time & life Midwifery <3

Prayerfully my hubby will take over dinner. Of course I will text him a hint.

Tomorrow I'm thinking off making home made refried beans & chicken/cheese enchiladas will post pics/recipe as I go along!

Light & Love
Me :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Life catch-up and short rant

Hello :-)

today I'm in a place of struggle. I work with someone who puts me in the position of having to follow behind them and clean up their piles, do their work, which in turn postpones mine. The problem is I've discussed this with our boss time after time and well either what he's doing isn't working or he's just not doing anything at all. Meanwhile if I don't tackle the things not getting done, we are reprimanded together for it. Which really pisses me off. I guess he's trying to be diplomatic and not pointing fingers directly but I say enough is enough it's time to call it like it is and let this person know they are the ones. What's worse is it's starting to put me in a position where I'm sorta reprimanding her myself and well I simply don't get paid to do that.

In other news I've officially signed up for my midwifery course, have a few books, waiting on a couple more to really delve into my studying and work. I'm looking forward to it. I've emailed a local birthing center for volunteer/apprentice opportunities and put the word out that I want to attend births and maybe some folks should just get pregnant to help me out, lol ;-)

Grandbaby is growing by leaps and bounds. Will be 1year old on St Patty's we're trying to find a bday venue to fit everyone...grr. She's standing on her own, walking with her push toy, but not quite on her own yet, she doesn't fully trust it though she tries once in a while. She's imitating our words and have figured out what some mean and use them properly. she loves books, she will bring them to us to read and at times "reads" them to herself. Which fills me with joy. Her mommy is doing wonderful and I'm very proud of her.

My oldest is still in her photography program and doing well. She's still teaching dance and I'm not sure if she'll ever walk away from that job, she loves the little kids so much.

Hubby and I are doing well, we both want very much to live healthier so that we can enjoy life more and longer together. So we're watching our home cooked meals and improving daily. He's into his video games and taking me to movies mostly when he's not working on other computers for folks around town.

My pain/fatigue are still very much a part of my life and I've made peace with the fact that that is my lifetime reality. Hyper mobile joints, arthritis and degeneration aren't something I can stop but I can learn to manage it and slow the process. Movement is key and strengthening the muscles supporting the joints to help them stay in place as much as possible. My doctor took me off of my arthritis med thank goodness, though I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had already taken myself off of it. Her concern as well as mines, is that it attacks the kidneys a little every time I take it as well as cause tummy discomfort, etc. So since my pain med/muscle relaxer both work well, don't cause tummy issues and are working fine at their low doses, I'm good to go.

I think that's pretty much a good catch up. Not reading anything other than birth books right now though I do have sitting here on my next To Be Read (TBR) pile "A Discovery of Witches" by Deborah Harkness has anyone read it?

Light and Love to you all
Anna :-)

ps need a new look... where's a good place to check out templates for this blog??

Monday, January 9, 2012

Full Moon Blessings

Good Monday & Happy Full Moon in Cancer. :) I'm making a quick post on my mobile phone (cool).

Today my intentions in celebrating this moon are focused on moving forward with my decision to study Midwifery. Allowing balance with my family life, social life & current job.

I am thankful for the surge of confidence & renewal the new year has brought for not only myself, but for many. I can see & feel the shift in my life & those surrounding me.

Blessings to you all
Me :)

Friday, January 6, 2012

PBP: Altars


Goddess Flower symbol I carved into my pumpkin
Samhain 2010 That was also a part of my altar.

Merriam-Webster's 2nd definition of Altar reads as follows: A table on which the eucharistic elements are consecrated or which serves as a center of worship or ritual. 

My first experience with altar's started when I was very young in the Southern-Baptist church I grew up in. Our Pastor would bless the anointing oil for healing placed on the table/altar with beautiful candles and fake flowers. Also consecrated were the wafers and juice for communion and the tithes and offerings that all may prosper.

Of course as you can tell my beliefs have changed over the years but still altars are an important part of my day. For me altars are a focus point and a reminder. When loved ones are ill or passing we keep one table to light candles to focus our thoughts and energies on in their name. Another in the kitchen to focus thoughts on the health and well being of my family and friends as we nourish our bodies and gather to break bread.  

Often I assemble one quickly for special purposes:
                                                from the simple

Veteran's Day

to the elaborate
Special celebrations with friends

Unfortunately we don't live where altar's and rituals can be a part of my outside life without them being a little disguised. Which is why I take full advantage inside whenever possible. 

I know that many have blue prints and plans on how the altar should be set up. Where you place water, salt, varying candles, wands, athames, statues, etc. I won't go into deep explanation here because it's easily found in books and all over the internet. My purpose in this post is to discuss simply their function in my life. Upon finding my way to earth-based spirituality I read the books, I gathered and studied with other Pagan folk. Adhering tightly to the altar guidelines for each ritual type. Eventually I realized that those guidelines were simply that. A way to help me focus and understand the reason for an altar is to simply put me in a place mentally where I can relax, connect with spirit and focus my energies to work in kind with the Universe. Eventually you learn to tap into that level of consciousness on your own with practice. You start to see your altars becoming smaller and less extravagant, at times just 1 item or just thought and visualization.

Finally one of my favorite altars to share with my children:

my daughters 21st birthday cake

The Birthday cake! We gather around with loved ones, lights out, candles lit and a room full of love and joy. :-) We sing of happiness and blessings and then stand in silence and anticipation as you make a wish. Focusing all of your energy, taking your time and then blowing the candles out. The wind/breath from inside of your body filled with your intention flow over and meet up with the candles/fire burning building up energy and with that puff of breath...... your powerful wish is released into the universe!

Just typing this post today makes me want to set up another altar somewhere in this house, maybe a quick walk-by with a candle, matches and oil for those quick moments of silence during a hectic day.

Many blessings of love and light to you all

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Wishcasting Wednesday - Making Peace

This week's Wishcasting Wednesday asks: What or whom do you wish to make peace with?

I'm willing to bet many have the same answer. I wish to make peace with ME

I am my own worse distraction, down talker and even hater. Whenever I feel inadequate in comparison to others, it's not because someone has said things to make me feel or think that way, it's because of my perception of what I think they are thinking/feeling.  Whenever I choose to not go forward with an interest, dream or adventure, it's due to my own personal fears that start asking "what if...?" and once that starts I turn with my tail in between my legs and tip toe away.

I need to make peace with who I am, what I feel, what I want and what I need. It's ok to have dreams... it's even better to pursue them.

Here's to raising the energy needed to overcome and live in the moment. :-)

thanks for reading!

As you wish for yourself, I joyfully wish for you as well.

peace and love <3