Wednesday, September 12, 2012

What do I wish to reflect on? WW

Good Wishcasting Wednesday :-) (please join in!)

Today's question: 

What do I wish to reflect on?

hmmmm let's just say a LOT! But that being said I will make this as short as possible.

I would love to reflect on my current life space and experience. Where I am now and what led me here. I would love to reflect on (and will) my marriage. Why it works so well, how did we get in this space and how to make sure it continues. So blessed with an amazing marriage and husband.

I would love to reflect on what in my life's experiences put me in a place where I struggle opening up to people. Why don't I share my deepest worries and concerns to share with a trusted friend who can possibly offer further insight and different angles as I try to resolve any issues. I know it's partly because I've created a friend environment that allows them to be open and honest with me and I take great pride in being a good listener and easy to talk to. But I'm not comfortable being a good talker and sharer. Which hinders my friendships.

I would love to reflect on my relationships with my daughters. What have I taught or given them during the process of raising them and loving them. Did I treat them with respect, honor and as humans not children that I have to control? It's important to me to assist them in building self confidence and love for themselves. Have I done that? If so, how and is it possible to help convey how to do the same to others? Especially my daughters as they begin to Mother.

I would love to reflect on my current status of self love. Where is it now? Am I being honest with myself when I say I love myself, I'm happy with who I am etc? I want to take the time to reflect on the words and what do they mean to me. How do I know if I'm being honest and if not what should I do to get where I want to be.

Oh so many things to reflect on. I'm so thankful to Jamie for this weeks question and thankful that I looked it up to participate today. Now I can reflect on what's important to me and take the necessary steps to get where I want and need to be to continue growing.

enjoy your day

As you wish, I joyfully wish for you as well.

Peace and Light
Me :-)

Monday, September 10, 2012

Hello and Merry Monday to you all!

Brrr... it's chilly around here, Fall is tip-toeing in and I couldn't be more happier! It's a revival for my soul. The crisp days and nights, fall leaves/colors, pumpkins, apples, baking, cider, sweaters and cuddling to stay warm on the couch with my honey <3

Was able to get my daughter schooling paid and signed up and she's going to have a difficult six weeks being a single mommy. Classes are Monday-Friday 8am-2:30pm and some days she will work 5:30pm-10pm afterwards. Those six weeks also include her clinicals and testing. But I told her just make it through the six weeks lean on family as much as possible we're prepared and willing and she will reap great rewards once finished and she finds that new job! A very good friend of her's Mother is a supervisor (I'm not sure what unit) at a local hospital and told her to contact her once she's finished! So I have high hopes and am very excited for the path she's going down.

Sunday we went to my Father's home to celebrate September birthdays. He grilled up some yummies and made delicious sides :-) My mom came and my aunt which was nice. I love that even though our parents are divorced (now 13 years) we still can gather as a family including my stepmom and 1/2 siblings (I don't use that term because they are just my siblings to me, but just to clarify the situation). Though I think it difficult for those of us who grew up in the house and my mom to see some areas of the house in what we consider a mess. I guess it's up to who you are and how you see it. My stepmom is a hoarder and unfortunately it has taken over the once beautiful formal dining room we grew up with and you can't get in it at all. So we just pretend to not notice as we don't live there anymore and that's between her and my father. But we had a blast and sang and ate cupcakes and laughed laughed laughed. The only mistake I made was the trampoline which at the time I loved loved loved! But a person with my joint condition should NEVER trampoline jump and I'm STILL paying for it (ouch!!) oh well I'm still actually considering getting one for our backyard.

Came home watched my shows last night: Long Island Medium and Real Housewives of New Jersey (no I'm  not ashamed of my love for reality shows). Went to bed and did not sleep AT ALL!! O_o which totally sucked.

Went to work was BURIED in mail (it was a hot mess for us today) but we worked our arse off and got it all done! My postmaster had to help out but that's ok, it's good for him. Until he complained about breaking 1-bead of sweat! (whatever). I found it terribly distressing that the coworker that chaffs my arse because she does NOT do her job pretty much 93% (no joke) of the time. She sees nothing through just work 1/2 done, 1/2 cleaned up and 1/2 worked in piles all over the damn place. I spent a portion of my morning cleaning up, going through and finishing her crap from last week! I've tried the complain, confront, alerting higher ups and mild threats. The mild threats kinda work for a week then ... back to the old. No one holds her to it, no one writes her up and if they do confront her she gets an attitude that they don't want to deal with. I swear they chock it up to her being moody and having adhd. I get it, she has meds, it's a choice I watch her make on a regular basis to NOT do her work, she knows eventually someone will do it, can't let mail just sit. It's irritating.

So now this week's agenda includes: a viewing in the man cave with my honey of Monty Python's Holy Grail! Probably a couple runs to our favorite movie theater, Brisk afternoon walks on the trails :-) crocheting mats for the local human society animal cages and Sunday we're going to the apple orchard!

peace and love to you all :-)


Friday, September 7, 2012

Life catch up and a-ha! moment :-)

It's Thursday Sept 6, 2012 and it's been a long while since I've visited my dear sweet blog. I often think of it and at times dream of running and typing up my rant of the moment. But I hesitate and get distracted by shiny things flittering by.

Today I'm sitting here because right now if it involves sitting, I'm in.

Woke up to a text from my coworker that she was not feeling well and will not be in to help me sort the mail from the trucks this morning. I felt a quiver of fear and concern and right before releasing a great big "dammit!" sigh. I sent her a text back telling her it was no prob, thanks for the heads up and get well soon. Quickly I got dressed, tried to brush my currently completely unruly hair (it really looked not much different than when I woke up), grabbed my bowl, spoon, 2packets of raisin n spice oatmeal and skidaddled to the post office. It's still dark as night at 4:30am around here and the town is fast asleep. It takes about 5 minutes (seriously) for what during the middle of the day takes 15 minutes to get there. Upon pulling into the parking lot, I thought I saw a raccoon lumber onto our dock and hurried out of the car to take an instagram (I'm obsessed) but upon closer look I realized it was a cute kitty that didn't allow me to get too close and my picture that was going to be titled "Postal Parking Lot Kitty" was more like "Fuzzy strange glowing eyes in the darkness" or "what the hell is that?" lol so it didn't make it as my 1st instagram of the day.

Our mail volume was the usual. So I took my pain meds, warmed up my oatmeal and cracked open a bottle of water. Put 99.1 Wfmk on the radio, turned on the ceiling fans, and got to work. Sweat pouring and singing/dancing around at a swift pace I was able to get it all done and was in fact ahead by the time the carriers started showing up 2 hours later. What I learned was that except for Mondays and days following holidays, I can do the mail sort all by myself (though it would seriously kill me physically because I am whipped!) and that the carriers can count on me to not hold them up in the event that the other morning clerk is unable to come to work and that feels good! :-)

After work I had some running to do. Picked up our oldest daughter, stopped at our house at my left over riblets from Applebee's from said daughter's birthday late night dinner with family the night before. Then we drove out to a mall where she just got a job with a portrait studio (yay my $$ on tuition for New York Institute of Photography is paying off as they were ecstatic at her knowledge and experience) to get paperwork finished (her car's out of commission at the moment) then they sent us back into town to our bank to get paperwork for direct deposit, went back to the mall (in between stopped for gas and hit up Grand Traverse Pie Co. for big-ass rice krispy treats - yum!), then to Biggby (coffee!!) and back home. It took all of the remainder of the morning and I'm already working on very little energy remaining. Wish I could stop and pump in energy like I do my car....hmmmm.

Once home got to work on the phone and computer to get information set up with a small loan from my bank (just 6months will pay off much earlier though) to help with tuition costs for our youngest daughter. Got it all squared away and ready to pick up tomorrow morning (yay!) then called the school and set up intake for after leaving bank tomorrow to get her signed up and her schooling starts in October!! I'm so so so very excited for both of our daughters they are phenomenal confident women and I truly enjoy just being a part of their world and adventures as they create and recreate their life paths. <3

Have been on grandbaby duty all week while youngest daughter works and will have her again this evening... I pray she hasn't had a nap and the 2 of us can go in my room, put on a boring movie or show, the fan and snooze away! But not before I run to pharmacy to get my meds refill and pick up a few items. Plus I need to change kitty litter boxes as my handsome hubby is still healing from a minor surgery he had last week and really shouldn't lift the heavy bags. Poor guy it's killing him, he hates not being able to do things himself and worse having me do it, which I don't mind, but he just loves to do things for me, take care of me. I'm truly blessed with this man! :-)

**Friday Sept 7 2012 (I was distracted and didn't finish, lol)

In other news. I've found my own little like-minded lil sisterhood tribe to gather with and I'm loving it. We're still in the very very very early stages of getting to know and trust each other but it comes easy with these women and I feel blessed.

I hope this will help me come out and trust people more I still struggle a LOT sharing with anyone other than my husband and daughters. It's my own fault that I don't have that super close girlfriend I crave because I'm just not in a place yet where I can feel comfortable trusting. I watched a wonderful episode of Super Soul Sunday on OWN (Oprah's network) for the Life Class show. She had Ilyana Vanzant on and they were discussing with the audience how and why women hurt each other. I have my entire life watched women whisper lie and gossip about each other behind the backs of their family and friends and I'm not saying I've never been a part of that because I have. But this show changed my perspective and woke me up to  the real problem that exists out there. Women need close bonds with other women. We still have close bonds with other women even though there's a lot of behind the scenes talking going on. I want to have a more authentic relationship with the women in my life. I think there's a lot of power in the bond and even more so if it's based on openness and honesty.

so the work begins

hope all are well
blessings of love and light